


High Winds and Heavy Rain

by cuddleslutloki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Characters Making Bad Choices, Codependency, Come Swallowing, Comeplay, Consensual Underage Sex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dysfunctional Family, Extremely Underage, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Groping, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Incest, M/M, Masturbation, Molestation, Nephew thor, Past Sexual Abuse, Pedophilia, Road Trips, Self-Harm, Showers, Top Thor (Marvel), Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Relationships, uncle loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:46:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18309395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddleslutloki/pseuds/cuddleslutloki
Summary: The one constant, the one thing Thor has never doubted is that his Uncle Loki loves him. And yeah, he knowsexactlyhow Loki loves him.





	High Winds and Heavy Rain

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE READ THE TAGS**
> 
>  
> 
> I know there are people who read my stuff without glancing at the tags much and I'm glad y'all trust me, but friends this is probably not the story to do that on lol. I poured several weeks of stress into this, so it's very dark and not as much of a feel-good fic as some of my others. Every time I could've exercised restraint in this story I didn't. 
> 
> I've tagged this as thoroughly as I think I can. Just please read the tags thoroughly and make sure you're aware of what you're getting yourself into ;]

Loki’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he sits stuck in the airport. All planes grounded, all flights cancelled. He pulls it out and checks the little front screen, heart pounding, wondering if there’s been another attack.

It’s his brother. He frowns, then flips the phone open and answers quietly.

“Hello?”

Static distorts the line, but he hears Odin’s heavy breathing. “Frigga’s going into labor, can you be here?”

Loki’s heart trips into a gallop and he’s walking before he can even realize he’s moved. The concierge desk is packed, people are yelling, many are crying, red in the face. A TV screen behind the woman at the desk replays the same two minutes of news footage over and over. Smoke billows in the air, fire erupts, then it begins again.

“I’ll find a way, call me if he arrives before I do,” Loki says, then flips his phone shut.

He hefts his business bag higher onto his shoulder and walks out of the airport. The bustle and chaos of the terminal dies down at his back, and as he walks to the Greyhound station three miles away the city is silent. No one is outside. No businesses are open except for an empty Starbucks.

Loki enters the bus station and finds it as deserted as every other building he’d seen. It’s a shock the place is even open right now. The woman behind the counter is glassy-eyed and jumpy. He smiles to her, forces the charm that seals deals, and buys a one-way ticket to his brother’s home. The bus he needs will arrive in twenty minutes, she says. A police officer searches his bag twice and he allows it, understanding of the paranoia.

He’s the sole passenger of the bus. The drive only takes four hours. The driver tells him it’s the last bus that will be running today, he’s lucky he caught it. If he didn’t live at their last stop he wouldn’t be driving Loki right now.

Loki doesn’t speak, but he gives a tight smile and a nod as he departs. He walks from the bus station to his brother’s house and in the whole forty minutes he thinks he sees maybe a dozen people. Not as dead as he expected, but nowhere near how many people should be out and about on a sunny afternoon.

He hears Frigga screaming from the sidewalk. Odin slams the door open and yanks him inside before he can even knock.

The midwife gives Frigga a cup of water and rubs her back, then her belly. She’s squatting naked in the living room, poised over a very soft blanket with tears running down her face and neck, onto her  bare chest. With every shout and curse she pushes. Loki sees blood, he sees more tears, he sees his brother having his hand squeezed halfway to breaking, and then Frigga gasps and he sees her smile.

A shrill scream pierces the air, and Frigga sobs as the midwife puts Thor in her arms. She falls into Odin’s chest and sits on the blanket. There’s a tarp under it, he realizes.

Loki sees his nephew’s tiny body and sits patiently on the couch as he and Frigga are cleaned. Odin kneels next to his wife, holding her and whispering in her ear while he supports them both. He looks so happy Loki might mistake him for a human for a moment.

After a few minutes of Loki sitting silent, seeing something he almost feels he shouldn’t the midwife hands him the baby, freshly cleaned and calmed, umbilical clipped. Loki accepts his nephew and looks down into a pair of curious blue eyes. Thor yawns and blinks up at him and dear god he’s beautiful.

Loki smiles and feels tears run down his face and something exploding in his chest.

He’s in love.

—

Thor bounces on the couch and looks out the window. Uncle Loki comes over every afternoon and reads to him. Last week they finished the Iliad so now they’re reading the Odyssey and Thor wants Loki to re-read the part about the cyclops. He’s tried to read it on his own, but some of the words are too long and he can’t remember what they’re supposed to sound like.

“Thor, quit bouncing!” His dad’s voice reminds him of the part of the story where Poseidon yells at Odysseus.

Thor falls on his knees on the next bounce. He crosses his arms over the back of the couch and blows his hair out of his eyes. Loki’s late.

“Where’s Uncle Loki?” He turns his head enough to look at his dad and feels something weird in his tummy when his dad frowns and looks angry. Thor feels like he shouldn’t have asked.

Dad flops into the recliner and scowls at him. Thor doesn’t think he did anything wrong so he doesn’t understand. “Loki isn’t coming.”

Thor gasps and feels like his tummy is doing cartwheels. “But why?”

Sometimes Uncle Loki is busy, but he promised he’d be here today!

His momma pokes her head out of the kitchen and looks at him, then at dad. Thor opens his mouth, but his dad holds up his hand he closes it.

“Uncle Loki won’t be visiting anymore,” his dad says.

Tears blur Thor’s vision. “Did I do something wrong? Is he mad at me?”

Momma walks out of the kitchen, her belly is just starting to get big. How’s he going to be a big brother if he can’t ask Uncle Loki for help?

She sits next to him and hugs him, then lifts him up and set him down in her lap. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Thor. He isn’t mad at you.”

Dad sighs and grumbles. “It’s not a big loss, boy.”

“He can come over on the weekend, though, right?” His nose starts running and he sniffs hard.

Dad scowls at him and he flinches. “Loki isn’t coming over anymore, Thor. Go play.”

“But why not?” He doesn’t understand. Uncle Loki promised to read to him.

Momma grabs the book off the coffee table. “I can pick up where you two left off, Thor, would you like that?”

“No!” He squirms and climbs out of her lap. “I want Uncle Loki!”

Dad slams his book shut and stands up to point at him with a fat finger. “Don’t yell at your mother! Uncle Loki isn’t allowed to come over anymore.”

“Why?” Thor stomps his foot and crosses his arms. It’s not fair!

Momma sighs and sets the Odyssey back on the table, then goes back to the kitchen.

Dad grabs him by the shirt collar. “Because I said no, Thor. That’s all the answer you need. Go sit in your room until you’re ready to behave.”

Thor yanks himself away and runs into his room and shuts the door as hard as he can. He climbs into bed and cries into his pillow. It’s not fair and it doesn’t make sense. Uncle Loki is so nice! No one else wants to answer all of Thor’s questions, but Uncle Loki always tells him whatever he wants to know and Uncle Loki never tries to get him to go away and do something else and Uncle Loki always hugs him tight and kisses his forehead and tells him how special he is.

At Christmas he sat in Uncle Loki’s lap until he fell asleep and he woke up with Uncle Loki cuddling him and petting his hair and it was so warm. Why is dad making Uncle Loki stay away?

Thor cries until he can’t anymore, then falls asleep listening to the birds outside. He wakes up with momma gently shaking him.

“It’s dinnertime, sweetie,” she whispers.

Thor frowns and pulls away until he’s against the wall. “Is Uncle Loki coming to dinner?”

She sighs and shakes her head, then looks back to the doorway where his dad is standing with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Dad scoffs.

Thor sticks his lip out and curls in on himself. “I’m not eating if he isn’t here.”

“Then starve,” dad barks, then walks off.

Momma frowns and runs after him. They’re yelling again. Thor listens to it and ignores the way his tummy growls. He cries again as he falls asleep.

—

Loki twirls a pencil between his fingers and stares at the photo on his computer screen. He wonders how to pleasantly word the phrase ‘your statue is a fake’ in a way that won’t have the client blowing up at him. The way the pupil holes on the statue have been carved are all wrong and a glance at the stone itself tells him it’s not even a century old, let alone from the second century BCE. But everyone loves the Romans, for some reason, so now he’s sat here having to clean up someone else’s bullshit.

Oh, well he could just blame their authenticator. That’ll work.

Instead of drafting up a reply he sits there and twirls his pencil some more. He wants to teach Thor about art. He wants to know what questions Thor will ask, what he’ll see that Loki doesn’t.

But Odin will probably kill him if he shows up.

“You’re a monster, Loki, I see the way you look at him, it’s disgusting,” he’d spat.

Loki clenches his jaw, then unclenches it. He shouldn’t ruin his teeth over his asshole brother. Thor said he has a nice smile. He should keep it that way.

This is the longest he’s gone without seeing Thor. Three days. Three whole days and it feels like it’s been weeks.

His phone rings and he picks it up and answers without looking at the caller ID.

“Borson authent—”

“Loki, you have to come over,” Frigga’s been crying, he can hear it in the scratch of her voice, “Thor won’t eat.”

Loki drops his pencil and sits up straight in his chair. “What do you mean he won’t eat?”

Frigga takes a deep breath and Loki wonders for a moment about his other nephew, if this stress is hurting Thor’s brother still in Frigga’s ever-growing belly.

“When Odin told him you weren’t coming over Friday he had a meltdown. He ran to his room and wouldn’t come out for dinner, when I woke him up on Saturday he wouldn’t come for breakfast. I’ve been able to get him to drink some juice, but he won’t eat if you’re not here,” her voice breaks and Loki feels rage coiling in his stomach.

“Why the fuck didn’t you call me on Saturday? It’s Monday, Frigga!” He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but he always had his dad’s temper.

She exhales sharply. “You know the way you look at him isn’t right, Loki. We all see how you fawn over him.” She pauses a moment and sniffs hard. “We thought he’d get hungry and eat, but he’s as stubborn as his father. I’m not letting my son starve.”

Loki grinds his teeth and and yanks his desk drawer open, grabs his keys and the nicotine gum he hates but needs. All he wants is a cigarette and a shot.

“I’ll be over in ten minutes.” He hangs up on her, then stands up and slams his office door open.

The temp at the front desk startles and raises a brow. “Reschedule your 7 o’clock?”

Loki locks his office door and pops a piece of gum into his mouth. It tastes like shit. “Cancel it. I don’t need his cock up my ass. Tell him that if you have to.”

She laughs and picks up the phone on her desk. Loki hears her chittering as he leaves. He shouldn’t feel like he’s won a fight, he knows that. Thor hurt himself and he can’t stand that thought, but Odin lost.

Odin.

Lost.

Odin never loses, but Thor beat him and Loki is the one being rewarded for that.

Loki runs four red lights and parks his Lexus in Odin’s front yard. Thor’s face is pressed to the front window and the craving for a cigarette leaves him the moment he sees his nephew. He spits his gum into the grass and runs.

Thor scrambles out the door and jumps into his arms.

—

Thor is dizzy and his tummy hurts but Uncle Loki’s hugs make him feel better. He buries his face in Uncle Loki’s neck and is happy when all he smells is the cologne his uncle likes. It smells good.

“You’re not smoking!” He hugs Loki tighter.

Loki rubs his back and walks them inside. “I promised you I’d quit.”

The mac and cheese makes Thor’s stomach growl when he smells it. Loki takes them right into the kitchen and carries Thor to the table, then sits down and grabs a banana out of the bowl momma keeps full. Thor wiggles and makes himself comfy in his uncle’s lap. Momma looks at Loki funny, but smiles as she scoops out food onto a plate.

Loki peels the banana and gives it to him, he takes as big of a bite as he can and speaks around it. “Why couldn’t you come over?”

Loki brushes his hair out of his eyes and takes the plate momma hands him. “Sometimes your father and I fight about very dumb things because we’re grown-ups and we don’t know any better.”

Thor frowns and swallows his bite. Loki always answers his questions, and that wasn’t an answer.

“But what did you fight about?” He shoves more banana into his mouth and watches Loki’s face.

Loki licks his lips. “How do I explain it in a way you’ll understand?”

Thor puts the rest of his banana down and pulls the plate over, but Loki stops him.

“Before I tell you what happened, I need you to promise something for me, Thor,” Loki’s voice is so soft.

Thor bites his lip and pulls skin off with his teeth.

Loki touches his cheek and looks in his eyes. “You will never starve yourself again, do you understand? You must never hurt yourself, Thor.”

Thor sees tears in Loki’s eyes and reaches up to brush one away when it falls. “I’m sorry.”

Loki smiles and presses a kiss to his forehead, then another, then one to his cheek. Thor giggles and then Loki’s fingers are tickling him and he laughs and flails his arms.

“Momma help, he’s attacking me!” Thor reaches for momma and she smiles, but there’s something different about it.

Loki stops after a second and pulls him back with an arm around his tummy, then scoops food onto a fork to feed him. He leans his head against Loki’s chest and listens to his uncle’s heartbeat while he eats. Thor hums to himself as he eats and wonders why Loki and momma aren’t talking to each other. Normally they talk.

He eats the entire plate of mac and cheese, then the front door open and momma runs into the living room. Dad’s home.

Thor scoots further into Loki’s lap and waits while Loki eats the rest of the banana he didn’t finish.

Dad walks into the kitchen and stares at them. Well, he’s staring at Loki. Thor tries to shrink himself, make himself smaller. Loki still hasn’t told him why they were fighting and now he’s afraid to ask.

No one says anything, then dad slouches as he stands and shakes his head as he walks away.

Loki presses a kiss to his ear and whispers, “I love you, Thor. I’ll always love you.”

He feels warm inside and kisses Loki’s cheek. “Can we go read?”

Loki squeezes his thigh and sets him on the floor. “I have to go speak with your father first, wait for me on the couch.”

Thor nods and goes to the living room and opens the book to the right page. Uncle Loki’s hands are balled up when he walks through the living room to go to dad’s study.

Thor pulls more skin off his lip with his teeth.

—

He can tell Odin wants to punch him. Odin looks like their dad when he wants to hit someone.

“You were going to let your son fucking starve? Really?” Loki forces his voice calm and maintains eye contact. Odin only has the one eye to look into, so it’s not difficult.

Odin spits in his face and Loki wipes it off with the back of his hand. “You do not get to lecture me about child safety, Loki. You’re fucking disgusting.”

“What have I done?” He bites his tongue a second, chews on it to distract himself from his lack of shame. He knows what he’s done, why Odin told him to stay away and why Frigga agreed to it.

Odin takes a deep, measured breath. “You’re a pedophile, Loki.”

Loki didn’t expect him to say it. It’s almost impressive that Odin can get the words out instead of being a coward like he’s always been. He clenches his fists so hard he feels his joints move and finally has to break away from his brother’s gaze.

“You can’t even deny it,” Odin hisses.

He shakes his head. “I will never hurt him.”

Odin growls and takes a step forward, stops, backs up. “So what will you do, then? Will you hurt someone else’s child to keep from touching mine?”

Ice runs through Loki’s veins and he looks back at Odin and feels the last of any kind of love he ever had for his older brother crumble into dust.

He takes a breath and smiles. “How long were you going to let him starve, Odin? I’ve never hurt Thor but you watched him refuse to eat for days and you did nothing.”

Odin falters as he stands and sniffs hard, then Loki sees blood drip out of his nostril.

Loki’s smile widens, he can feel it turn sharp as his fists unclench. “Well, that’s impressive. You really do take after dad, don’t you?”

Odin grabs a tissue and shoves it into his nostril. “What are you talking about?”

Loki tilts his head and slips his fingers into his pockets. “I do wonder what child protective services would have to say about your cocaine usage.”

Odin freezes and Loki watches his hands twitch. He remembers how much Odin’s always liked punching him in the face.

“Careful, Odin,” Loki _tsks_ with his tongue and laughs when Odin’s face turns red and more blood seeps into the tissue, soaking it until it’s dripping. “Thor asked me to read to him. Wouldn’t do to have a bloody nose in front of him, would it?”

Odin sits down at his desk and tosses the bloody tissue in a nearby can. Loki sneers as it slaps wet against the bag. Another tissue takes its place and runs red just as quickly. He wonders if he’ll have to watch his brother fall apart the same way their father did.

“Get help, Odin.” He leaves the study before his brother can say anything and pauses as he passes Frigga in the hall.

She puts her hand on her stomach and looks towards Odin’s study. “If you touch Thor I will kill you, Loki.”

He likes Frigga. She’s fierce and protective, but she’s too soft sometimes.

“What about when Odin touches him? Do you let him hold Thor down and spank him until Thor is screaming and begging for it to stop?” Loki forces his mind away from memories of watching their father beat Odin almost bloody.

Frigga’s face falls and she backs away a step. “He doesn’t—”

“Don’t lie to me. Do you know what it does to a child to have the person who’s supposed to protect them hurt them like that?” Loki spots Thor in the living room, pretending he isn’t listening. “You worry so much about my looks but what do you do when your own husband is abusing him?”

Frigga slaps him and he smiles at the sting. “Go fuck yourself, Loki.”

He licks the inside of his cheek and nods towards Odin’s office. “Hope you like taking blood out of cotton, Odin’s having a mysterious nose bleed.”

They move past each other and Loki smiles when Thor looks at him. He’s still just as in love as he was the day Thor was born. Everyone thought the world was ending, but for Loki it began again.

—

Thor doesn’t know what to pack. Half of his closet is emptied onto his mattress, five pairs of pants and seven shirts, some underwear and socks and he realizes he forgot pajamas and stares at his dresser, wonders which ones to grab. A whole weekend! He’s going to sleep over at Uncle Loki’s and they’re going to watch movies and eat ice cream and sushi and—

“Thor! Are you packed?” Momma walks into his room and laughs when she sees his bed.

“Uh,” he says, “I’m trying?”

Dad comes to stand in the doorway a moment later and he scoffs at the mess. “Thor, honestly, it’s two days. You can’t take your entire bedroom.”

Baldur bumps into dad’s leg and giggles, then waddles into Thor’s room. Dad picks Baldur up and holds him in one arm, poking his nose and kissing his head. Thor likes dad better than he used to. Dad hasn’t hit him since he was six. It’s been two whole years.

Momma puts most of the clothes he picked back and then puts what’s left in his backpack. Outside he hears Uncle Loki’s car pull into the driveway. Thor gasps and runs out of his bedroom. The engine cuts off as he bolts through the living room and out the front door. Loki laughs and climbs out of his car just in time to pick Thor up and wrap him in a tight hug.

Thor closes his eyes and clings to his uncle, squeezes him as hard as he can and grins when Loki carries him back inside the house.

Loki kisses his forehead and sets him down in the living room right as momma brings his backpack out. He takes it from her and throws it onto his back and turns to run out the door, but Uncle Loki grabs his shoulder and pulls him back.

“Thor, my goodness, you’re going to leave without saying goodbye to your parents and brother?” Loki raises an eyebrow and Thor knows it means he’s being rude.

He rubs the back of his neck and grins a little crooked. “Oh.”

Momma kneels down to hug him and he kisses her on the cheek. Baldur slobbers on his forehead and on his nose when dad leans him in for a kiss, and Thor rubs his face on dad’s shirt in revenge when he goes in for his hug. Loki laughs and it makes Thor smile.

Baldur reaches out for Loki and takes his finger. “Can I come?”

Thor frowns and watches Loki kiss Baldur’s little hand. “You’re supposed to go to your aunt Freya’s to play with your cousin Tyr, remember?”

Baldur lets go of Loki’s finger and Thor grabs Loki’s hand and leans against him, trying to recapture his attention. Loki squeezes his hand and ruffles Baldur’s hair at the same time. Thor loves his brother, a lot in fact, but he wants to leave and he wants to leave alone. But Loki is still smiling at Baldur and letting Baldur talk and ask why he can’t come and Thor rolls his eyes and huffs.

“Baldur, stop!” Thor glares up at his brother who glares right back.

“Hey!” Loki pulls away from him and Thor feels like the ground has fallen away from his feet.

He crosses his arms and he knows he’s pouting and being dumb but he just wants to go, he doesn’t want to be here.

Loki kneels down in front of him and tips his chin up with two fingers. “Thor, we have an entire weekend ahead of us, okay? And we’ll leave in a moment. Right as soon as you apologize to your brother.”

Thor sighs and nods, then looks up at Baldur, who’s still frowning at him. “Sorry, Baldur.”

Dad sets Baldur down and they stare at each other for a minute, then Thor hugs his baby brother and Baldur hugs him back. Just as promised, Loki is already heading out the door, and Thor forgets he was even mad. He hops across the yard and climbs into his uncle’s car. Loki puts his backpack under his feet, just out of reach for him to hit it when he kicks his legs.

Loki helps him buckle and Thor waves to his family as they pull out of the driveway.

He watches the neighborhood pass by and relaxes a little more the further away they are from his house. Loki sings along to the radio and Thor feels like he’s too big inside his own skin.

—

Loki rolls his hips and sighs as pleasure sings inside him. He should see someone about this, look for a way to fix it, he knows. Logically, he knows how wrong this is.

The pillow under his hips is so soft. He wants to feel ridiculous for this, fucking his own bedding like some teenager without the money to pay for real toys, but he’s enjoying it too much for the feeling to really connect. Thor has been smiling all day, being so sweet, and he was so cute when he was jealous of his own brother. Loki stifles his soft moan by burying his face in his other pillow and rolls his hips faster.

Thor climbed into his lap during dinner and they shared one plate, feeding each other sushi and laughing at how silly it was. God, Thor’s so good. So soft and wonderful.

Loki can’t let this go. He loves Thor so much, loves him in every way there is to love someone. His pretty, smart little nephew. Thor is so perfect.

His hips tire and he pants against the pillow, then lifts his head and looks at his bedside table, at the framed picture of Thor sitting in his lap, grinning like a loon with one of his front teeth missing. They took that last year during some school function. Thor didn’t realize Loki was going to be there and he’d been so happy he’d actually cried and he kept thanking Loki for showing up.

Loki’s cock throbs and he sighs as he starts again. It'll be easy to finish now. He’ll always want Thor, he knows that and has made his peace with it.

Sweet pressure builds and builds as Loki stares at the picture, taking in each familiar and beloved detail. He hears Thor’s laughter in his mind and his hips stutter and his eyes roll into his head, his cock jumps and he groans as he makes a mess of the pillow.

“Oh, Thor,” he whispers.

He should never, ever say that. Never admit to this out loud. But he can’t help it. Thor loves him.

—

Thor knows he should be in bed, but he heard weird noises from Uncle Loki’s room and wanted to see what they were. The door is just cracked enough for him to see his uncle naked, squirming on his belly. He doesn’t know what Uncle Loki is doing, but he hears his name and it makes his tummy do something weird. Uncle Loki’s never said his name like that before.

He watches as Loki slowly crawls out of bed and tosses a pillow into the laundry bin. His thing looks weird and Thor frowns, leans forward to try and see it better, but then the hinges creak when he accidentally pushes the door open.

Loki’s head whips around and he knows when he’s spotted. He pushes the door open the rest of the way and walks in.

“Can I sleep in here?” He twists his hands in his shirt as he speaks and hopes Loki won’t be mad at him for being up so late.

Loki looks at him, then toward the hallway. “You don’t like your room?”

Thor shrugs and looks at the floor. He knows he’s being a baby, but he doesn’t like being alone.

Loki takes a deep breath and clears his throat. “You’ll, ah, need a pillow. I only have the one.”

Thor’s chest feels light and soft and he laughs as he runs back to his room to grab his pillow. He comes right back and climbs in bed next to Loki, who has boxers on now. The bed is big and soft and Thor never wants to sleep anywhere else. Loki’s arms wrap around him and pull him in close. He sighs and hums happily, nuzzles Loki’s chest and rubs his feet up and down Loki’s legs.

“I’m gonna marry you.” He yawns as he speaks and feels himself falling asleep already.

Loki laughs and rubs his back under his shirt. “Go to sleep, sweetheart.”

—

Loki’s grip on his sanity has been tenuous at times, he’s never denied that, but the last week has made him wonder if he shouldn’t take a seventy-two hour holiday to the local psych unit.

Is Thor flirting with him?

Thor has always been affectionate and paid keen attention to Loki, but the last few days have been something else entirely. Summer is Loki’s favorite time of year, even though he loathes the heat, because Thor stays over at his house for over half the week. He’ll just show up and stay over, or sometimes Loki will come home and find Thor lounging in his living room, like yesterday. Normally they have dinner and they’ll watch something on tv. Uneventful, normal.

Yesterday Thor took one look at him and said, “wow, you look really pretty today.”

Loki appreciated the compliment, and that itself wasn’t strange, it was what followed. Thor had dragged his eyes up and down Loki’s body in a way that seemed too intense for his young face. Men looked at Loki that way, not twelve year old boys.

Then Thor said, quietly, “your pants make your butt look really good.”

He still isn’t sure what to think about that. All he could do at the time was laugh and thank Thor for the kind words, but now he’s turning those words over and over in his mind, thinking about the way Thor had looked at him, wondering if he’s adding in extra details or if he’s got this right.

Thor looked hungry yesterday, and he looks hungrier today.

—

Loki's really fucking hot. Thor's glad he can come and go as he pleases because it means he can float in the pool while Loki gardens. He's strong and covered in lean muscle and with the summer heat he's been going shirtless when he's outside. Thor had to jack off twice this morning before he came over because thinking about Loki always makes him hard.

It’s normal to have a crush like this, right? He’s had it since he was really little anyway, and he knows Uncle Loki feels the same way. The first time he ever slept over he saw something he wasn’t supposed to, and he thinks about it everyday. Uncle Loki was humping a pillow and had moaned his name. Thor still remembers exactly what it sounded like, the way he breathed, that there was cum on the pillow he’d been humping when he was done. He didn’t know what he was seeing then, he was only eight. All he knew was that Loki had held him so close and had been even more cuddly than normal. But now he understands, knows that Loki rubbed his back and pressed kisses into his hair because he was high from cumming and Thor was why. Then Thor put himself right there in his uncle’s arms so he could have a reward for being so pretty and making Loki feel so good.

He hopes four years hasn’t changed the way Loki feels, because it’s only made his own feelings stronger.

Thor knows how to keep secrets. He learned from the best.

—

Loki isn’t particular modest, he doesn’t care about having his skin exposed or people seeing his body, it’s never bothered him. It still doesn’t, he supposes. But now he’s keenly aware of every inch of skin he’s showing.

Thor stares at him. Thor watches him and follows him around.

It’s difficult to resist the urge to check if Thor’s hard or not, but there’s never a moment Thor isn’t watching him, so he can’t just glance down at his nephew’s groin without it being noticed.

What will Thor do then? If he sees Loki looking at him? Thor has always gone for whatever he wanted, always been a thunderstorm of a boy. He’s going to do so many incredible things and Loki just wants the best for him. He wants Thor to have everything he could ever want.

Thor acts like he wants Loki.

Loki shouldn’t give that. Thor’s too young.

But Thor wants, and Loki wants.

He’s such a weak, weak man.

“Uncle Loki,” Thor’s voice breaks him from his thoughts, “I wish I could marry you.”

Loki’s heart races and trips over itself, shatters and cuts him apart from the inside. He feels like he’s on fire and yet his veins are filled with ice. What is he supposed to do?

There’s only one thing he can do. The only thing he’s ever done.

“Oh?” He says, allows a bit of a smile onto his lips and eats a piece of roasted asparagus. “What kind of wedding would we have?”

All of his nerves disappear at the way Thor lights up. His pretty blue eyes are so bright, and his smile is so joyful that Loki is infected with it and giggles a bit.

“Well I think we would have a small wedding, because I know you don't like people,” Thor pauses as he snorts, “and maybe we could get married in a forest.”

“That's very whimsical,” Loki says.

Thor has been saying he wants to marry Loki for years and it never occurred to Loki to ask Thor to elaborate. He's glad he did.

“What kind of wedding do you want?” Thor fidgets when he asks, a habit he picked up from Loki and Frigga.

Loki eats the last of his lunch and considers it. He's never thought about marriage.

“You know, I rather like your forest idea. Your grandfather owned a farm in Norway, I think some cousins have it now. I went once when I was very young and I remember the trees seemed as big as mountains.” Loki looks at Thor's hands as he speaks, watches the fidgeting stop and those long fingers thread together.

“Will you take me?” Thor sounds awed, and Loki thinks the only sound he loves more is Thor's laughter.

“When you graduate from high school, sure. We'll make the trip,” he promises.

A blush crawls onto Thor's cheeks and he looks down at his empty plate. “Just the two of us?”

Loki swallows hard and takes a drink of water to wet his dry mouth. “If you prefer.”

What else can he do?

—

Thor runs after Baldur through their overgrown front yard, easily catching up with his much longer legs. His baby brother is squealing and laughing but doesn’t fight as Thor puts a shirt on him then grabs him and starts heading back toward the party.

They’ve never had this many people at their house and Thor’s feeling a little claustrophobic. And more than a little annoyed.

Aunt Freya brought a friend over and her friend won’t stop talking to Loki. He’s some art guy, he works in a museum, he went to Paris last week and has Loki ever been to Paris? Because if he hasn’t he should go.

Thor knows better than to be rude, but it doesn’t mean he has to be friendly.

This total stranger is trying to get in Loki’s pants. He doesn’t even know Loki, why the hell should he get to fuck the most important person in Thor’s life?

He sets Baldur down and watches him run screaming back to Tyr, who’s building a sandcastle in the little sandbox Thor helped build with dad last summer. Loki laughs and Thor’s head whips around at the sound. Art Guy is leaning in too close. His fingers slide over Loki’s hand.

Thor’s stomping over to the table before he realizes what he’s doing, before he can come up with a plan, before he can even think of something to say.

Loki moves his beer as Thor sits and puts his arm around Thor’s shoulders without looking away from Art Guy.

The guy looks at Thor and squints a little, his smile faltering a bit. He shouldn’t be confused, he’s the outsider. Loki’s fingers brush along Thor’s shoulders and he calms down a little. Any attention Loki pays to Thor is less attention for this stranger.

“Victor, this is my nephew, Thor, he’s my brother’s son.” Loki turns and smiles at him, the same loving smile that Thor remembers from all of his earliest memories.

Victor clears his throat and nods. “Nice to meet you, Thor. I was just talking to your uncle about ancient Roman coins.”

He says it like Thor is some little kid who’s supposed to think that’s a cool and confusing topic. “Oh, which emperor?”

Victor raises an eyebrow. “Empress. Faustina the Younger. I was just telling him the coins are from later in her reign, which we like.”

Thor smiles, forces pleasantness on his face because Loki likes it when he’s polite when he’s angry. “The hairstyle is different, right? Because she probably had alopecia and her hair was thinning, so the style from early in her reign wasn’t sustainable.”

Victor’s smile falls and he tilts his head, looks at Thor with an interest he’s used to seeing from boring people. “Yes, that’s… that’s right. Loki you didn’t tell me your nephew was a little genius.”

“Uncle Loki helped raise me, he’s taught me a lot.” Thor grabs a piece of cubed melon from a nearby plate and chomps on it, lets the juice run down his chin and doesn’t miss the fact that Loki’s eyes are firmly on him now. Right where they should be.

Loki leans in and presses a kiss to his temple and his stomach aches because he wants to turn his head and kiss Loki on the lips. He wants to give Loki everything. But he can’t. Not here. He’s too old for kisses on the mouth from his uncle.

Victor is forcing a laugh while his eyes search the party, widening when he sees something over Thor’s shoulder. “Oh, are those your friends, Thor?”

Thor can’t fight his scowl, but he covers it as quickly as he can. “Probably.”

“Don’t you want to, you know,” Victor gestures with one hand and it’s just shy of a shooing motion, “go play with them?”

“If I did I wouldn’t be sitting next to my uncle.” Thor shoves another piece of melon into his mouth and is grateful when Loki laughs under his breath.

He’s still trying to figure out why sometimes Loki likes it when he snaps and other times doesn’t. Maybe Loki thinks Victor is boring, too.

Victor looks between them, then settles his eyes on Loki. “Lokes, do you want to go for a walk? I saw a garden a couple houses over that looks gorgeous.”

Thor grins. Loki hates that nickname. Grandpa Bor used to call him that.

“Well, Victor, if I did then I wouldn’t be sitting next to my nephew.” Loki holds his hand out and Thor places a piece of melon in it, watching as Loki bites the fruit in half and juice makes his lips shine.

Victor laughs, an edge to it Thor likes because he sounds uncomfortable. “You know guys, I feel like I’m on the outs of an inside joke, here.”

Thor shrugs. “You are.”

Loki laughs and pops the rest of the fruit in his mouth.

Victor clears his throat and stands. “I’m going to go find Freya. Nice talking to you Loki.”

Loki waves lazily and pulls Thor in tighter. “That was rude, Thor.”

Thor leans into Loki’s touch for a second, then pulls back. “You liked it.”

Loki hums and removes his arm and Thor slides a couple inches away. Someone will notice if they don’t separate. They always do.

“I did like it,” Loki admits quietly, only for Thor to hear.

Thor gasps and his stomach flips, he feels like something in his brain is shorting out. His cock is chubbing up and he feels heat low in his gut. The last thing he needs is to be hard at a family party but he can’t help it, can’t even try.

Loki isn’t supposed to say stuff like that.

—

Odin is never as quiet as he thinks he is. It’s the only useful thing about his temper, the volume. It doesn’t hurt that the vent to the guest bathroom runs parallel to the master bedroom.

“Frigga, there is something happening with Thor.” His voice is stern, a tone of finality to it.

“What do you suggest we do? How do we even bring this up? It’s not like we can ask your brother to have a chat with him, he’s a pushover for Thor.” She’s tired. This probably isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation.

“We can separate them a bit, maybe. Thor needs to play with children his own age, find someone he likes and go on dates. He shouldn’t spend half a party stuck to Loki’s side like that, being rude to guests.” Odin sighs and Loki can hear the heavy cadence of his pacing steps.

“When he was six he starved himself for three days because you told Loki not to come over. He’s almost thirteen now, Odin, and he’s very smart. If we try anything too harsh he’ll run away.” Frigga is a pragmatist, a realist.

“It’s not healthy,” Odin says, “it’s like he’s… addicted to Loki’s presence.”

Loki raises an eyebrow. Interesting choice of words.

“Should we take him to a therapist?” Frigga asks, then mutters something too quiet for Loki to hear through the vent.

“I don’t know, Frig. Maybe… maybe we’re overreacting. He could just be having a bad day.” Odin doesn’t normally backtrack.

He’s too smart not to see the truth of things, but he’s too weak to accept it.

Frigga is quiet, then she hums. “Maybe. He’ll probably outgrow it when he gets into high school and finds a club or two he enjoys.”

Odin agrees with her absently and Loki can almost see him rubbing at his palm. It’s enough, they’re not going to say anything else worth hearing, so Loki opens the door to leave. Except Thor is blocking his path.

Thor glances in each direction down the hall, then grabs him by the back of the neck and hauls him into a kiss. His soft lips press to Loki’s and for a moment Loki knows what peace is.

Then Thor pulls back and hurries off, his steps quiet because he’s running on his toes over the plush carpet. Loki waits until Thor’s out of sight before he does the same. Odin’s voice echoes down the hall at his back as the bedroom door cracks open right when he’s turning into the kitchen.

Five more seconds and his life would have been ruined.

—

Thor has clothes at his uncle’s house, so he doesn’t pack anything for the weekend. He just sits on the front porch and waits for Loki to pull up. The sun is just starting to get high, first rays peeking up over the houses across the street. For breakfast Baldur helped him eat the last of his birthday cake from the party last weekend. The party that Loki couldn’t attend for some stupid reason.

Loki had texted him and told him he wasn’t going to make it and then called him to explain. Thor promised not to tell anyone they talked, so Loki told him he couldn’t come because Fandral’s parents didn’t like him. He wanted to give Thor a normal teenage party since he was officially becoming a teenager, so he agreed not to come. If Fandral wasn’t one of his best friends Thor would’ve uninvited him. It’s not his fault, though.

Besides, now he gets an entire weekend with Loki to make up for it.

The weather is still muggy and hot only halfway through September, still summery enough for Thor to wear a tank top and athletic shorts. Loki always stares when he wears workout clothes and he wants to take full advantage of that. Dad got him a weight set and he’s excited to use it. Maybe Loki will stare at him even more if he puts on some muscle. Plenty of guys got their start at thirteen, like him, some even started younger. Besides, momma’s always saying he needs to find a hobby he enjoys. If that hobby can be something Loki enjoys too, then that’s even better.

Loki’s car pulls into the driveway and Thor sprints over to it, not even giving Loki a chance to cut the engine before he’s in and buckling his seatbelt.

“Eager?” Loki laughs as he speaks, fingers poised on the key fob.

Thor’s breath catches in his chest when he looks at Loki’s face. His hair is a little messy, falling around his face, and his eyes are bright and warm with his little smile. He only smiles like this at Thor, and Thor always loves the attention, loves that it’s just for him. No one else gets this.

He shrugs and keeps looking at Loki’s face. “I missed you.”

Loki looks away and clears his throat, then takes his hand away from the ignition. “Then I guess I shouldn’t delay us.”

Thor waves at Baldur as Loki pulls out. Aunt Freya will be over in a few minutes to get him. Their parents are off at some farmer’s market, so he doesn’t need to worry about saying goodbye, he can just get on with his weekend plans.

He wants to see if Loki will touch him.

—

Thor is so sweet it’s killing him. The older he grows the more beautiful he is. Loki could barely restrain himself when Thor was so young, so little, and it’s only proving more difficult with time.

And Thor is not helping matters.

There’s an entire couch for them to share while they watch this movie, but Thor is pressed right into his side, curled into him and for fuck’s sake he won’t stop moving. Thor has readjusted himself four times in ten minutes and each adjustment has brought him closer to sitting in Loki’s lap. This time as he wiggles around he throws one leg over Loki’s and lets his head fall onto Loki’s shoulder.

Loki wraps his arm around Thor’s shoulders and tries to pay attention to the screen. Maleficent casts her curses and Loki feels one washing over him when Thor’s hand grabs his wrist. His pulse skyrockets and he wonders if Thor can feel it where his fingers are digging in. Slowly, so slowly, Thor drags his hand over and over until it’s laying across his thigh. His basketball shorts have ridden up, so Loki has skin on skin contact with his thirteen year old nephew and he can’t help but squeeze the lingering baby fat and the muscle beneath. Blue light dances over them both and highlights the blond hairs that dust Thor’s skin.

Odin bought Thor the set of weights Loki showed him and the thought of this already handsome body filling out is making him start to fill out. He can feel heat pooling in his belly, tension building while his cock grows fat at the thought of Thor slowly changing into the most beautiful man Loki has ever seen. It’s so easy to imagine when he’s already so gorgeous.

Thor’s hand lands on his and he sees Thor chewing his full lower lip out of the corner of his eye. He wants to do something, maybe, but he’s nervous. A warm thrill runs through Loki’s stomach. What could Thor want that he’s not sure he can take?

His breathing picks up and he gently drags Loki’s hand higher up his thigh, then stops. Loki’s cock is fully hard, bulging under his nice satin pajama pants. Does Thor notice, he wonders. Has Thor noticed all these years? Is that why he’s so clingy, so needy, why he’s so possessive?

Is Loki not imagining things?

Does Thor want him back?

Thor pulls his hand even higher and only stops when Loki’s fingers are resting on his cock. He’s already so thick and he’s still growing.

Loki is frozen as he sits, his blood is roaring in his ears. His face feels hot with a blush. Thor adjusts, presses his hips forward a bit so Loki’s fingers stroke him.

Well, if that’s what the boy wants.

Loki turns his head and buries his nose in Thor’s hair, inhales deeply and moves his fingers back and forth.

Thor gasps and shifts, rocks his hips into the touch. “Oh.”

A dark, heavy warmth fills Loki until his cock is twitching and his hole clenches on nothing. Making Thor feel good is all he’s ever wanted. He wants to say thank you but he doesn’t know how Thor feels, if Thor will let him do as much as he wants.

Thor pulls away and turns, looks at him with wide, soft eyes and lips parted. Loki smiles, his hand lying limp where he’d been stroking Thor’s dick. Is he the first to touch it aside from Thor? He hopes so.

Stirring music plays as the movie continues, but neither of them look at the action. Instead, Thor surges in and kisses him. Loki knows peace again, knows what it is to have a quiet mind with Thor’s lips on his. This relief can’t be found anywhere else.

Thor pulls back and swallows hard, his cock is bulging in the front of his shorts and Loki can’t help stealing a glance at it. His mouth waters.

“I’m gonna go take a shower. Can we finish the movie later, Uncle Loki?” Thor’s voice is breathless and so painfully beautiful when it’s so quiet.

Loki smiles and nods, then turns the TV off as Thor leaves the living room. A few moments later the shower turns on and he squeezes himself, thinking about Thor all hard and needy, touching himself under the warm spray.

He picks himself up off the couch and makes his way to his bedroom, pausing briefly at the main bathroom in the hall. The door is about a quarter open to vent the steam, and he can see Thor through the sliding glass doors.

Loki watches Thor and learns new, important things in the process. One, Thor likes to have his balls played with. Two, Thor’s very pretty when he’s fucking his fist.

Thor’s eyes roll into his head when he cums and Loki feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. He continues to his bedroom and leaves his door open a bit, wants Thor to have the same invitation he had all those years ago when he caught Loki humping a pillow.

The water shuts off as he’s laying down and shoving his pajama pants down his hips to free his cock. He relaxes and squeezes himself, teases a bit. The image of Thor pleasuring himself is fresh in his mind and it brings a smile to his face when he puts his hand on his dick. Thor looking so pretty, flexing that sweet ass while he drove himself through his own fist repeatedly. Maybe he wanted it to be Loki’s hand, his ass, maybe even his mouth.

Loki pictures himself on his knees in front of Thor, showing him how good it can feel to fuck someone’s throat. He wants to know how Thor tastes, how he feels, the weight of him.

Clearly Thor wants that, too. Thor wants him.

Loki hears steps coming down the hall and feels tight, hot pleasure coiling low in his gut. His balls feel heavy and full, ready to empty everything. The steps stop and he hears the slight creak of the hinges, hears a gasp and groans from deep in his chest. A big, fat drop of precum leaks out of his slit and he opens his eyes just enough to see Thor’s face in his doorway. He’s naked and dripping wet and he could only be here to sleep, to share Loki’s bed the way he has since he was too little to understand why Loki loves cuddling him.

God it’s so good to be wanted back. He twists his wrist and cums hard, shaking, moaning, making a mess of his hand and his shirt.

“Fuck.” He licks his hand clean and sighs at the taste of himself, wishes again that he could know what Thor tastes like.

Thor’s face is still in his doorway when he stands up. Those pretty eyes flick down to Loki’s softening cock, then back up.

“Do you want to sleep in here?” Loki strips his shirt off and pulls his pants back up.

Thor nods. “I know I’m getting too old.”

Loki waves him off. “Nonsense. You’re still a child, if you don’t want to be alone you don’t have to be.”

Thor’s gentle, happy smile is the most beautiful thing Loki has ever seen.

He’ll do anything to make Thor happy. Anything.

—

Loki rubs his back as he’s falling asleep and it just makes him want to stay awake longer, to feel more of this, to have more of this. None of this should be happening, and he knows that. He knows why his parents and his friends parents are so weird around Loki. But Loki doesn’t look at anyone like he looks at Thor and he shouldn’t. Thor is the only one he should love.

He sighs to try and keep from yawning, but it doesn’t work. Loki hums and squeezes him in a hug, his big hand just running up and down Thor’s spine, barely grazing the top of his ass.

When he was seven his school therapist asked him if anyone ever touched him under his clothes. She was so nice and he liked her a lot, but she made the same mistake everyone else made: she assumed he didn’t know what Uncle Loki wanted to do to him. He’s always known.

So he lied.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

She showed him a doll and asked if anyone ever touched his private parts, especially his penis.

He remembered the way Loki rubbed his butt and legs when they were changing to go swimming together. How Loki’s fingers had brushed across his balls and tickled him and made him laugh. Loki’s smile was so bright, so soft. But then his face changed he stopped touching Thor.

Thor had shrugged. “Momma when she’s washing me.”

They asked again when he was eight years old, two weeks before he was finally allowed to spend the night here. He kept lying. If he didn’t lie then they’d take Uncle Loki away from him. No one else loved him the way Uncle Loki loved him. It wouldn’t be right to make him leave. When dad had tried Thor had starved himself until momma broke down and brought him back.

No one is going to take Loki away from him. Never.

His cock is twitching, filling again when he thinks about all the times Loki has touched him. Thor presses a kiss to Loki’s chest and tries to scoot even closer, only happy when they’re touching from shoulder to hip. He rubs his feet along Loki’s legs like he always does.

It’s been years since Loki touched his balls, but he wishes it would happen again. Loki hasn’t put his hand down Thor’s pants since he was eight, since the night Thor watched him hump a pillow and invited him to bed after. Thor had been asleep, but he woke up to Loki’s soft fingers tickling him, had giggled and squirmed without trying to get away. He still likes being tickled. Sometimes he can’t cum unless he plays with his balls.

Loki kisses the top of his head and he smiles.

“I love you, Uncle Loki.” His cock is filling out more and he knows Loki can feel it.

“I love you, too, Thor. More than anyone,” Loki promises. Thor believes him.

Loki’s hand slowly slides down his back, then keeps going until it’s under his waistband. Thor arches his back a bit and pushes his ass into Loki’s hand. He’s awake now, and he needs to be touched, especially like this.

When Loki touched him on the couch he freaked out. He didn’t think Loki would do it. No one else has ever touched him, and Loki had never touched his dick before. It was all so much, so intense. Part of him worried maybe his parents would show up like they sometimes do, even with how late it is.

His stomach flips and does something weird. He feels almost guilty and he doesn’t like it. Why should he feel bad? This is what he wants.

He buries his face further into Loki’s chest and focuses on the way Loki’s kneading his ass. Gentle squeezes that move the muscle under his skin like a massage. Loki sniffs his hair and hums quietly.

Thor relaxes and stops fighting sleep. Loki whispers to him, tells him how beautiful he is, how smart, how special.

Loki tells him that no one is beautiful like he is.

He feels Loki’s fingers brushing his hole as he falls asleep and he smiles. Loki should always touch him like this.

—

Thor is crying on the other end of the phone. Really crying, his words interrupted by hiccoughing sobs and distorted by his tears. His voice is raw and Loki can already see his face, red and wet, snotty nose and bloodshot eyes.

Tears sting at Loki’s eyes as he listens.

“Why do they need you for so long? We were supposed to go to the museum!” Thor sobs more and Loki grinds his teeth as tears flow down his face.

“It’s a very large collection, Thor, it’s going to take some time to authenticate every piece.” He looks at his laptop sitting open on his desk.

Thor sniffs hard. “Two months? That’s too long! What am I going to do?”

There’s a lot he could do. He’s fourteen, has just ended his freshman year of high school and he has summer homework for some of his classes. But he doesn’t want to be left behind.

Loki can’t do this to him.

He walks over to his laptop and wakes it up. “Thor, sweetheart, how much of your summer homework have you finished?”

Thor stops and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Almost all of it.”

“What do you have left?” Loki scrolls back to the top of his hotel search and changes it to one adult and one child.

On the other end he hears Thor shuffle through some papers, significantly calmer than when the conversation began.

“Um. I have a book report to write and email, and that’s it. I think. Yeah, that’s it.” Thor sighs and sniffs again.

Loki finds a room with a kitchen at a hotel with a pool and a gym. Thor’s been building some muscle, it would be a shame if he lost any of it during an extended road trip. It’s meant for long-term stays, has a weekly rate that isn’t outrageous. He books them a room for eight weeks.

“Well, I’ll tell you what. If you finish that book report by tomorrow afternoon, then you can keep me company in the room I just booked. The hotel is near the beach, it has a gym—”

“Are you serious?” Thor’s voice is so bright, so clear, it doesn’t even sound like he was crying a minute and a half ago.

Loki grins. “We’ll have to ask your parents.”

Thor hums and lets out a slow breath. “I mean… if I finish all my homework then they don’t have any reason to say no. We weren’t planning on doing anything.”

Loki knows neither of those things is true, but he also knows that if it comes down to a fight between Thor and Odin, then Thor will be the winner.

And in turn, Loki will win, too.

—

Dad’s face is turning red and he’s glaring at Loki. Thor moves to stand between them, staring his dad down from across the dining table so that dad’s anger won’t all go on his uncle. He’s the one who asked, anyway, so why’s dad mad at Loki?

“No, absolutely not!” Dad thinks yelling is a form of talking, which is why Thor doesn’t talk to him anymore.

“Why not? I finished all of my homework and I was going to spend the summer with him anyway!” Thor crosses his arms and doesn’t flinch when dad’s eye snaps to him.

He’s almost six feet tall now and he feels it with Loki standing behind him. Dad still scares him sometimes, but he always feels safe with Loki around.

“It’s not right, Thor.” Dad’s voice is a growl and one of his veins is bulging. Maybe it’ll burst.

Loki scoffs and his hand brushes Thor’s back as he comes around to stand at his side. “What exactly isn’t right about it, Odin? He’s my nephew.”

Thor looks between them and leans slightly away from Loki, puts just enough space between them that dad won’t be able to say anything.

“Yeah, what do you mean, dad?” Thor knows. Of course he knows.

But dad has never said anything to him any time he’s pressed the issue. Dad’s scared, he can’t look at the truth. If he did it would mean admitting it’s his fault.

Dad’s jaw ticks and he looks between them, then shakes his head and waves them off as he turns and leaves the kitchen.

“I guess I can’t stop you, can I, boy?” He sounds sad. He sounds tired.

Thor smiles and feels relief washing through him. Loki’s hand brushes his lower back and he shivers.

His parents can’t show up and ruin everything if they’re five states away.

—

It’s quiet as they drive through the mountains, pushing nearly one in the morning. The radio fades in and out as they drive along winding roads. Thor is quiet, drifting in and out of sleep in the passenger seat.

His beautiful face is lit by intermittent flashes of the streetlights above. Loki can’t look for more than a second at a time or he’ll kill them both, but he steals glances as he can. Luckily the roads are empty for the most part, so the chances are many.

The road straightens and a tunnel swallows them. Sounds from the car echo around them and the light goes from infrequent flashes to an orangey constant. Thor makes a soft noise and wakes with a few bleary blinks. Loki turns his face back to the road and takes his foot off the gas. Not a good time to be going eighty-seven miles an hour. Cops love to sit outside of tunnels and lay speed traps.

Thor stretches in his seat and Loki glances sideways to see him scratch his stomach, then looks back at the road.

In the rearview he sees a cop sitting just outside the exit of the tunnel. His speed fell to something just a little faster than normal. He watches his rearview for a moment longer, then Thor’s breathing shifts and warmth shoots through his stomach clear to his groin.

He allows his eyes to slide over.

Thor’s rubbing his cock through his jeans.

Loki’s grip goes white-knuckle on the steering wheel, his blood rushes south and makes him hard, makes him ready for whatever Thor wants from him. He relaxes his grip and leans back against his seat. They need to find a hotel for the night.

—

Thor squeezes his dick and licks his lips, wonders how far he can go with this. He knows. Loki will never say no to him.

He looks over at Loki and watches his face, the way the light plays across his skin and makes him look so beautiful he shouldn’t be real. This is a dream, maybe. Thor’s been in and out of sleep for hours. It could be a dream.

His zipper is so loud in the car. Each tooth unlatching is like some new barrier breaking, a link in the chain that’s kept them from going all the way snapping apart and freeing them as he pulls his half-hard cock out of his jeans. He looks at it, looks at the way his foreskin puckers up over the head and plays with it with one finger. Loki’s driving or he’d ask if Loki wants to touch him now. That still feels too big, though. Still more than he might be able to handle. They’ll work up to it. They have eight weeks.

He looks over at Loki again and once his eyes hit his uncle’s face he can’t look away. Loki is watching the road, being responsible while Thor acts up from his side of the car.

Thor looks down and sees the swell of Loki’s cock bulging in his sweatpants. He wants to touch, to feel it. His hand reaches over before he can think better of it. Loki is so hard, so solid. A rough squeeze makes Loki grunt, has the engine revving a bit, and Thor grins, then lets go.

He goes back to his own dick, fisting himself nice and tight while he rubs the head with his fingers. The radio fades back in and the sound of violins fills the space between them. Thor moans low, half-restrained. Thoughts flood his mind. Things to say, things to do, things he wants.

Loki looks over for a moment, his eyes flick down to Thor’s cock and he licks his lips, then looks back at the road. Thor sees Loki's cock jump in his pants and he groans as butterflies burst in his belly. He did that.

This is the first time anyone’s ever been this close while he touches himself, and he’s glad it’s Loki. He’s lucky, he knows, to have an uncle who loves him this way, who wants him the way Thor wants. Loki’s so gentle about it, like he just wants Thor to feel good.

Thor spreads his legs and rubs the leaking slit of his cockhead until his toes are curling in his shoes and he can barely breathe. He stares at Loki’s pretty face and feels his nipples harden and his balls draw up. Loki looks over again and meets his eye and Thor whines as he cums, barely makes a cup with his hand in time to catch it so he doesn’t ruin the upholstery in Loki’s car.

He sags into his seat and breathes hard as he comes down. His cock throbs and jumps and he squeezes himself, gasping at the pressure when he’s so sensitive.

His cum is so warm in his hand and there’s so much it’s almost dripping out. What does he do with it?

Normally he wipes himself up with a tissue or just jacks off in the shower. Loki’s hands are gripping the steering wheel so tight the leather is creaking. Thor remembers Loki licking up his own cum. Maybe… maybe Loki will help him now.

Thor’s throat is locked as he carefully reaches over with his cum-filled hand and present it to Loki’s mouth. He feels like everything moves in slow-motion. They take an exit and Loki’s eyes don’t move from the curving road as he opens his mouth. The angle is awkward and Thor spills some down Loki’s chin by accident, but Loki doesn’t seem to care. He moans and sucks up everything he can.

There’s a red light at the end of the exit and Loki stops hard, making Thor’s seat belt pull. His hand hits Loki’s mouth when he tries not to pull away and spill cum everywhere.

Loki takes his hands off the steering wheel and grabs Thor’s wrist with one, with the other he wipes up the dribble of cum that runs down his chin and pushes it all back into his mouth. Thor’s mouth falls open as he watches Loki licking him clean, feels the way Loki’s tongue curls over his skin and how his lips pinch and pull, how hard he sucks. The light turns green but Loki’s still licking his hand. The mix of cum and spit glistens and reflects the traffic light as it holds on green, then shifts to yellow, then back to a red Thor can barely see on his own skin.

Thor swallows hard and watches as Loki finishes and allows his arm to turn over, no longer wrenching his shoulder and elbow. He waits while Loki still holds his hand, eyes closed, panting through wet lips. Loki kisses each of his knuckles, then puts his forehead to Thor’s skin.

He’s burning up.

Loki takes a deep, deep breath and gently pushes Thor’s hand back to his side of the car.

Then he runs the red light and turns left out of the intersection. Thor hastily tucks himself back into his jeans and zips them back up. A Hilton Inn sign glows from far above, probably visible from the highway. Loki pulls in and parks in a side lot. He cuts the engine and stares out the windshield.

Thor’s heart thunders in his ears. He didn’t know Loki wanted him that much. How could he hide something like that?

—

He hadn’t dared hope. Couldn’t have dreamed.

Thor fed him his cum. The sweet boy could have tossed it out the window, could have found a tissue, could have drank it himself but he put his hand to Loki’s lips and gave that to him.

They can’t go into the hotel until Loki’s soft. He takes the keys out of the ignition and licks the inside of his mouth, chases the bitter taste of Thor’s pleasure and waits for his cock to calm down. No one else makes him react so quickly or so intensely. A man his age shouldn’t be so damn hard so fast, but his body and his heart are both so weak for Thor, so needy.

He takes a few deep breaths and feels his heart slow to a normal pace and his dick soften as it does.

Thor is staring at him, burning a hole into the side of his head with those pretty blue eyes of his. Loki turns his head, smiles, laughs through his nose when Thor leans in and kisses him. The parking lot is empty. They’re safe for the moment.

Loki grabs his and Thor’s small bags from the back seat and climbs out of the car. Thor follows close, gripping his forearm as they enter the hotel. The concierge is still in and Loki’s never been more glad to see someone looking glassy-eyed and over-caffeinated. Within minutes they have a double room and he and Thor lean against each other in the elevator. Thankfully they only have about three more hours of driving tomorrow. Rather, later today.

Weren’t late nights like this supposed to have ended when he left grad school?

The door clicks open and fresh air conditioning washes over them. Loki flicks on a light, strips down to his boxers, and climbs into bed.

Thor sets an alarm on his phone, probably before checkout. Loki hopes it’s before checkout but he’s also too tired to care. The light clicks off and he feels Thor crawling into his bed. His body is warm and bare except for his underwear. They wrap around each other like they always do and Loki drifts to sleep with his nephew pressing kisses to his collarbone and the lingering taste of his cum gracing his tongue.

—

Thor knows it’s been a rough day because Loki is pacing, and he hasn’t touched the dinner Thor made him. It’s nothing special, just some hamburgers, but normally Loki takes his time to say thanks when Thor cooks.

But he’s just walking and ranting.

“Don’t we need a spectrometer? No, we don’t need a fucking spectrometer when I’ve got my own eyes and two different degrees telling you I’m capable of authenticating the fucking painting. This imbecile is really starting to piss me off. I want to go slash his tires.” Loki runs his hands into his hair and pulls, turns and turns again in his path across the floor.

Thor stands up and interrupts Loki’s path, smiling softly when Loki’s brows furrow and his lips pull into a soft frown. His arms fall back to his sides.

Loki’s skin is cool when Thor touches him. First his forearms, exposed where he’s rolled up his sleeves, then he moves inward and puts his hands on Loki’s stomach, his sides, slides them around to Loki’s back and pulls his uncle into a hug.

He nuzzles the hollow of Loki’s throat and tilts his head to press a kiss to Loki’s neck. “Sorry you have to deal with morons all day.”

Loki’s hands roam across his back before sliding up to clasp together behind his neck. “Don’t be. I shouldn’t be focusing on him, I should be focusing on you.”

Thor pulls back and smiles at Loki, then kisses him soft and slow. They can do anything here. Including making out in the middle of the room.

He slips his tongue out and chuckles when Loki sucks it right in and pulls on it. Thor’s never kissed anyone like this. Loki is patient, toys with him and nibbles his lips until he’s groaning and his cock is begging for attention.

Thor wishes he’d had the courage to do this before now.

Loki’s hands leave his neck and he whines at the loss without meaning to, but he likes the way it makes Loki chuckle. The kiss ends quietly and Loki’s breath washes out over his face. He smells like mint.

“I’m going to take a shower to rinse off, and then we’ll reheat dinner and watch a movie, hm?” Loki smiles at him and Thor can see the beginnings of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He wants to kiss them.

“Okay.” He sways as Loki walks away from him.

Time seems to move slower when it’s just the two of them. Thor thinks the next two months might feel like a year if time keeps moving like this.

He touches his lips and smiles. They’ve got all the time in the world.

—

Loki stands under the shower head and feels the stress of the day flow down the drain as water pours over his skin. Thor’s kisses are sloppy from inexperience, but they’re so sweet. He puts all of himself into them. No hesitation, no holding back. When they kiss Loki has all of Thor.

The hinges on the door whine as it opens. Loki his leaves his eyes closed. He listens as the shower door slides open and grins when Thor steps inside. Poor dear doesn’t want to be left alone.

They share the water, standing together and kissing for long minutes. Thor’s hands play with his hair, twisting his fingers in it like he used to when he was a baby. It’s one of the reasons Loki has avoided cutting it. He loves anything about himself that Thor loves, and Thor seems to love all of him.

His phone rings from the main room and he ignores his reflex to go answer right away. Whoever it is can wait.

Thor pulls back and tips his head into the water, closing his eyes as he soaks his hair. Streams run over his face and down his neck and Loki can’t help but think of his oldest fantasies, the ones he’s had since Thor was first beginning to string sentences together. This pretty face will look so beautiful dripping with cum.

—

Thor wakes slowly, comfortably. It’s dark in the hotel room, but warm. Loki’s arm is wrapped around him, tight and secure.

And Loki’s cock is poking him in the ass.

He pushes back against it and hums when Loki grinds into him. The arm around his waist pulls tighter as Loki’s dick thrusts into the crack of his ass. Their boxers are thin, he can feel everything. Electric heat thrills in Thor’s stomach. He does it again, and again Loki thrusts forward, rubbing up into his crack until cotton is brushing against his hole.

Thor rolls over, pushing Loki onto his back in the process. His uncle makes an unhappy noise but goes anyway. Moonlight leaks in through the slatted blinds and paints Loki silver. Thor’s heart hammers in his chest and he knows now, as much as he’s ever known anything.

He’s in love.

He throws the blanket back and pulls Loki’s boxers down roughly.

“What?” Loki’s voice is rough, slurred with sleep.

Thor curls into his side and grabs his dick, feels the thickness and the heat of it. Loki’s so big his hand barely closes. He likes that more than he thought he could.

Loki moans on his breath and twitches his hips, fucking Thor’s fist. The motion makes Thor’s cock jump and spit out precum. There’s a wet patch soaking the fabric of his boxers and it drags against him when he grinds into Loki’s hip. He squeezes Loki’s dick and begins jacking it off. It feels good to touch Loki, to give him this. No one else deserves this from Thor. No one else knows how to appreciate it. Not like Loki.

He looks up and finds Loki’s eyes on him in the dark. Everything looks grey, unreal. There isn’t enough light in the room for his eyes to see color but he still knows the exact shade of Loki’s pink lips, the green of his irises, and the reddish-brown highlights when his hair is in the sun.

Loki’s hand cradles his jaw, a soft thumb rubbing his cheek. He smiles and twists his wrist the way he saw Loki do it, or as close as he can remember.

“Oh, Thor,” Loki’s voice shakes, so does his stomach, “that feels so good.”

Thor kisses the heel of Loki’s hand and nips at the skin with his teeth. “Am I gonna make you cum?”

Loki groans and nods, head falling back to the pillow with a noise that Thor only just hears over the back and forth drag of skin on skin where he toys with Loki’s dick. He’s probably not very good at this, really, since he’s never done this to someone else, but he can feel Loki’s cock twitching in his hand and the sticky wet drip of precum hitting his fingers.

He twists his wrist again and Loki shudders, gasps, trembles full-body. “I’m cumming, Thor, I’m cum—fuck!”

Thor sits up only to lean right over and fit his mouth onto the head of Loki’s cock. Loki gasps and touches the back of his head, just a gentle brush of two fingers, then they sink into his hair and hold him in place as cum shoots onto his waiting tongue. It’s bitter, it tastes kinda weird, but he swallows it all and suckles Loki’s cockhead to make sure he doesn’t miss any.

When there’s none left and Loki’s soft he pulls back and lays where he was, curled into Loki’s side. His dick is digging into Loki’s hip and he grinds absently, more than happy to cuddle now that Loki’s had his.

Loki’s lips brush his forehead and he grins, happy and safe and warm as he slowly humps his uncle’s side. He feels important, his chest overflowing with warmth that spills into his belly.

“Thor, darling,” Loki’s voice is tight, like he’s trying to be careful, “do you want me to return the favor?”

Thor smiles and sighs. Loki won’t ask for what he wants. Thor kinda likes that.

He nods. “Yeah.”

—

Loki barely resists growling as he pushes Thor onto his back and climbs over the beautiful boy who’s given him everything. A reason to live, a reason to thrive. Thor is the reason his heart beats and his lungs draw breath. Does he know?

Thor’s eyes are bright in the darkness, hoarding the moonlight and reflecting it back. It’s perfect like this. He’s so full of light. Loki wishes he had a camera, something, anything to capture this before the Earth moves too far and steals the moon away as it brings them closer to dawn.

He’s always thought Thor belonged in a Makovsky. The soft, buttery colors and the soul within the paint. Soft and sharp at once, drawing the eye in and in and in. Just like Thor draws his lips in and in and in.

Loki kisses Thor’s neck and chest, sucks his nipples like he’s always wanted to and listens to Thor’s soft moans. He arches into Loki’s mouth and ruts his cock against Loki’s stomach. If he were a man with less self-control he and Thor would never return home.

But this isn’t about him.

He drags his lips and tongue over Thor’s stomach and pulls Thor’s boxers down and off in one smooth motion. Thor’s legs fall open and Loki is struck.

He’s in love. He’s been in love since the first time he held this boy in his arms. Now he can take him into his mouth.

Thor’s eyes are unblinking, staring into him as he presses kiss after kiss to the pretty, fat cock he’s dreamt about for over a decade. He knows Thor will only grow bigger over the next few years. Maybe Thor will want to fuck him. Hopefully. It’s been years since he’s been with someone. Not since Thor kissed him the first time.

Loki drags his tongue up the underside of Thor’s shaft and smiles at the too-loud groan that Thor stifles with his own hand.

“Has anyone done this for you?” Loki knows the answer. He wants to hear it.

Thor shakes his head, thrashes it so his lovely hair flies all about his head. “No.”

Loki kisses around the edge of Thor’s foreskin and licks up some of his precum. “Don’t worry about being rough. I can handle it.”

He sucks half of Thor’s cock into his mouth and groans at the length already nearing his throat. Thor’s hips bucks and he relaxes into it, opens himself, closes his eyes as Thor’s hips snap up again and again. It hurts, fuck it hurts, it’s been too long since he’s done this, but Thor voice is broken and trembling and sweet. So sweet.

His hands rip at Loki’s hair and hold him down. If Loki had room to smile he would. Thor’s a kind-hearted boy, he’d never be this rough on purpose.

“Loki, Loki, Uncle Loki oh my god.” He wraps his legs around Loki, then pulls them away, digs his heels into the bed and then they slip and his legs fall.

Loki lays there and takes it, is happy to have Thor writhing in pleasure and using him. It only took fourteen goddamn years, he deserves something for that patience. Other men with his desires wouldn’t have been so loving. They wouldn’t have waited for Thor to be ready like he has.

He ignores the dull pain of a hard hit to his nose as Thor grinds against his face and holds him down. One more long, fluid thrust is all it takes for Thor to choke out a groan so low he almost sounds like a man. Loki’s eyes roll into his head when he feels that tell-tale jerking and jumping. Thor’s cumming down his throat, pumping his belly full and giving him the best gift of his life twice in less than two weeks. Such a sweet boy, his nephew.

Thor collapses with a heaving breath and takes his cock with him, leaves Loki empty and drooling, his spit cloudy with cum that he eagerly chases and sucks back down. Little whimpers spill out of Thor’s mouth, no matter how gentle Loki is. He takes everything. No drop can be wasted.

He shoves his nose into Thor’s sparse pubic hair and inhales deeply. Still a boy, not quite musky yet the way a man should be. Loki kisses his balls and then climbs out of bed and wanders to the bathroom. Thor stays in bed, which makes him smile. Must be tired.

Loki wets a washcloth in the dark and wipes himself down, then goes to the bedroom and does the same for Thor. Memories play of changing diapers and helping with baths. How has so much time passed?

He tosses the rag back into the bathroom without looking and takes his place back in the bed at Thor’s side. They’re both naked, now, nothing in the way. No pretense to hide each other from their love.

Thor kisses him, sloppy and slow, and Loki savors every second. They part with easy breaths and content hums. Loki pulls Thor close and smells his hair, his neck, presses kiss after kiss to Thor’s shoulders.

Within minutes Thor is asleep and Loki can feel it calling him too, drawing him in. He holds off just long enough to taste the salt of Thor’s skin and memorize it the way ancient warriors memorized songs of victory.

—

Eight weeks should’ve lasted longer. Thor doesn’t want to pack tomorrow. Packing means leaving this hotel room, this place they’ve made, the way they are now. He can’t go back.

Loki’s fingers brush across his brow and he looks over, sees the afternoon sunlight reflecting in Loki’s eyes and making them shift from green to grey. He keeps still as Loki’s fingers trace down his cheekbone and over his jaw. Such a soft touch, like all of Loki’s touches. They make him feel like he’s the only person alive.

“Do we have to go back?” He knows the answer, but he can’t help asking.

Loki smiles and slides his hand down to rub Thor’s belly. “We do. I can’t keep you.”

Thor frowns and sighs. He’s pouting. He knows he’s pouting, but he can’t stop. “Can we take another trip next summer?”

Loki smiles. “Depending on my work schedule, yes. I should be able to take off a few weeks, if you’d like.”

The promise dulls his sadness a bit, puts a smile on his lips. “I just really like this.”

“This? Cuddling naked in a hotel bed?” Loki’s fingers dip into his belly button and swirl around, tickling him.

Thor giggles and grabs Loki’s hand, yanks it sideways and pulls them closer together. “Not… I mean, yeah, but…”

“You like being alone. In a place where we don’t have to hide, not worrying about who will find us, who will see.” Loki crawls onto him and looms over him, his curly hair falling around their faces, closing them off from the rest of the room. “You like knowing that if you want to touch me you can, no one will say anything, no one will tell you to go play with your friends.”

Thor swallows and breathes deep, loving the woodsy smell of Loki’s conditioner sharp in his nose. They can’t be this close when they go home.

“I like knowing no one will call you a pedophile here,” Thor admits.

Loki doesn’t hurt him. That’s not what he is.

Loki’s face softens, his eyes crinkle on a smile that shows teeth. He leans in and kisses Thor and warmth, soft and wonderful, spreads through him. His first memory is Loki holding him, bouncing him up and down and rubbing his back, telling him he’s beautiful. He’s so lucky to have this, to have Loki.

He breaks the kiss and runs his hands up Loki’s front. “Hey, before we go… I…”

His voice dies as the words reach his tongue. He’s never asked for anything like this, and neither has Loki. But Loki doesn’t rush him, doesn’t demand he spit it out. Thor doesn’t have to hide what he’s feeling with Loki.

“I want to suck your dick,” he whispers, “I want you to teach me.”

He watches Loki’s pupils blow wide and his mouth drop open, his breath scented with mint when he exhales. The closest to giving a blowjob he’s come in their time here has been sucking the head of Loki’s dick while he jacks it off, but he wants to do more, to give more. Loki has swallowed him down night after night and made him feel so incredible. Wet heat and the squirm of his tongue, the feeling of Loki’s throat squeezing him. He’d feel jealous about where Loki learned these skills if he didn’t know Loki was never going to leave him now.

Loki rolls off of him and props himself up on one arm with one leg bent. Thor reaches out and strokes the hair growing on his calf, then up to his knee and back down his thigh until he’s gently massaging Loki’s cock as it hardens. He toys with Loki’s foreskin and realizes it looks a lot like his. Their hands, too, look similar. Thor’s are a little thicker, even now, but they have the same fingers and wrists. Who else should he love? Who else could share with him half of what Loki does? There’s no one.

“Would you like to be on your knees?” Loki reaches over and rubs his nipple and his stomach swoops.

Thor nods and Loki tosses a pillow on the ground between their bed and the unused second. He rolls off the bed and sits on his heels on the pillow, drooling as Loki scoots to the edge of the mattress with his legs spread to make room enough for Thor.

Dark, curly hair frames the base of his cock. Loki hasn’t shaved in weeks, ever since Thor asked him to stop. He pets Thor’s hair and smiles down at him. “Do what you want and I’ll tell you when something feels good.”

Thor grins and leans in, buries his nose in the softness of Loki’s pubic hair and smells the musk and clean skin. He rubs Loki’s thighs and squeezes them to feel the muscle under his fingers. Loki is so strong.

He presses soft, chaste kisses to the shaft of Loki’s dick and feels proud of the soft hum that Loki gives him, a familiar noise, appreciative. He grabs Loki in his hand and strokes him nice and slow, makes him hard enough that his cockhead slips completely out of his foreskin. It’s as pink as Loki’s lips and Thor smiles when he kisses it.

He opens his mouth and starts where he’s familiar, sucking the head and working the shaft. Slowly he takes more and more into his mouth, only stopping when he feels his throat burn. He watches his spit drip down Loki’s cock until it runs into the hair at the root, then he repeats the motion.

“God, fuck, Thor, Thor you don’t have to try and swallow me, darling.” Loki’s voice is deep, a rumble and a constant moan that makes Thor feel big.

He pulls back and uses the wet mess of spit he leaves behind as he starts a quick pace with his hand. Two night ago Loki made him cum so hard he almost cried, and if he can do even part of what Loki did he wants to try. He chases his hand with his mouth, making sure to keep his teeth out of the way. His jaw is already starting to hurt, but he doesn’t want to slow down.

Loki shudders and pulls his hair, then releases it. “Just like that.”

Thor moans and twists his hand, squeezes tight, and feels his own cock throb with the way Loki bites back a shout. Loki’s cock grows harder and Thor loves being able to feel it, already knows he has to practice at this, see how quick he can make Loki cum for him.

The hand in his hair tugs hard and pulls him off and he only has half a breath to be confused before he feels hot cum splash on his nose and cheeks. He smiles and laughs, closes his eyes and opens his mouth to see if he’ll catch any.

Loki growls out a curse and eases up where he’s holding Thor once he’s finished and his cock is going soft. Thor opens his eyes and grins, then giggles when Loki grabs his phone and snaps a picture of him all dirty and giddy.

“I’ve wanted to do that for more than ten years.” Loki swipes a thumb through the dripping mess and directs some of it to Thor’s mouth.

Thor licks it up. “Back when I was a little kid?”

Loki nods. “You’ve always been so beautiful.”

The compliment makes Thor feel sated even though his cock is hard. “I would’ve let you.”

Loki’s next breath shakes.

Thor licks more cum when it drips down his lip. “You could’ve told me it was game if you wanted.”

The green of Loki’s eyes turns dark. “You should be careful what you say to me, Thor.”

Thor rises a bit, stands on his knees and puts his hands at Loki’s waist. “I remember when I was really little you were helping me change into my pajamas while momma fed Baldur. I was naked and you were kissing my chest and stomach, and you kissed where my hip meets my thigh. You kept saying I was so pretty.”

Loki’s fingers dig into his hair again and his eyes keep turning darker, he licks his lips and stares at Thor’s mouth.

“You stared at my cock and you almost touched it. I didn’t know what you were doing, but I wanted you to keep kissing me.” Thor lets his voice drop as the memory plays out in his mind.

He’s always loved himself because of the way Loki loves him.

Loki breathes like he’s been running, like his heart must be pounding in his chest. His brows draw together and his eyes dart all over Thor’s face. He almost looks like he’s in pain.

Thor goes willingly when Loki yanks him into a kiss, gasping as Loki’s tongue shoves its way into his mouth. Loki growls and licks into him, bites his lips and sucks his tongue and all Thor can do is dig his fingers into Loki’s sides and try to hang on. He shivers when Loki’s other hand starts sliding down his body, forcing him to lean back as Loki bends forward. It keeps going down and down until Loki is squeezing his ass.

Then one finger slides into his crack and rubs his hole.

Thor moans and relaxes into the touch. He’s never played with his ass, even though Loki has touched him here before, but now he wants to. If Loki wants him like that then he wants to give it. Loki’s finger rubs and pushes against him. A delicious, heavy pleasure settles in his stomach as Loki plays with him, teases him, always showing him new and better things.

Loki breaks the kiss and Thor can see cum glistening on his skin from the bedside lamp where their faces had rubbed together. His lips are swollen from kisses and his eyes are still dark. Is Loki still holding back?

Thor sighs, happy and hard, ready for whatever Loki will do to him.

—

Frigga makes a beautiful pot roast, and Loki is tempted to ask for a second helping despite the fact that he feels nearly full. It’s strange being welcomed back so easily since the trip. They treat him like family. No one has ever treated him that way except Thor, and Baldur in a much different way.

Loki worried about the discretion a fourteen year old would be able to maintain, but Thor is perfect. If anything, Thor will be the reason they’re never caught. He weaved an entire summer of mostly boring days and a few fun nights and all Loki had to do was smile and nod.

The lie has held up over the course of the year. No one has questioned either of them in depth. Loki thinks either everyone believes them, or no one wants to risk learning that the truth is a figment of Thor’s design. Where will they imagine he’s learned that?

Baldur has asked a total of five times to go on the trip they’re planning this summer. Each and every time Thor tells him no.

Loki savors a roasted carrot and waits as the wall clock ticks away the hour. Baldur will ask—

“Can I come with you guys next time?”

Now.

Thor sighs pushes veggies around his plate. This is different. Loki watches as Thor silently weighs his options, his responses. He’s used to watching Thor calculate what he wants to say, if it’s worth it. That he absolutely learned from Loki.

“You’re only nine, Baldur. I mean there’s no one to play with. Maybe mom and dad could send you to summer camp, like they used to send me? But I only went to day camp, maybe we could find you a sleep away?” Thor looks at Frigga and gives his best helpful smile.

Oh, this boy is dangerous.

Odin hums and drinks a bit of wine from Loki’s glass, ignoring the face Loki gives him, dodging when Loki tries to snatch it back. He sets it back down when it’s half empty and Loki rolls his eyes. Nothing has changed since they were children.

“You know,” Odin begins, “that might be an idea. We’d have the house to ourself for a while, Frig. What do you think?”

She sighs and dishes herself another helping of carrots. “We’ll have to see how much it costs.”

Loki clears his throat and catches her eye. “What if I covered it? We could call it backpay for last summer when I took Thor with me, and combine it with this year when we go to Seattle.”

Thor’s grin is almost conspiratory.

Frigga looks between them and Loki knows if anyone is willingly hiding from the truth it’s her. She looks at Baldur and nods. “Alright. Say thank you to your uncle.”

Baldur rushes out of his chair and nearly trips as he runs around to Loki’s seat. Loki scoots back and catches two arms full of excitable nephew.

“Thank you, thank you!” Baldur repeats it in a chant, bouncing and nearly squeezing the life out of Loki.

He laughs and rubs Baldur’s back. “You don’t need to thank me, you should thank your brother for suggesting it.”

Baldur pulls back and rolls his eyes. “He’s not paying for it.”

The table erupts with laughter and Loki gives Baldur one last squeeze before he hops back to his own seat.

Frigga empties her glass of wine and Loki watches her over the rest of dinner and on through dessert. Her smile never reaches her eyes.

—

Thor’s favorite part of driving out here was sucking Loki’s cock at two in the morning as they crossed into Washington state. He rubs his lips together and tastes his vanilla lip balm, remembers how Loki had cussed and grunted while trying not to speed.

It wouldn’t be good if a cop had pulled them over and Loki had a fifteen year old’s mouth on his cock. Worse if they checked Thor’s temp license and saw his last name.

But they made it alright, stumbling in a little too late and falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Thor hangs Loki’s shirts and pants, plus the two ties he brought. One for him, one for Thor. They’re going to dinner.

He felt stupid asking to go on a date, but Loki had kissed him and smiled and promised they would. Loki always keeps his promises.

—

Thor insisted on dressing in the bathroom of the condo they're renting. Loki thinks it's cute, how Thor wants this to be special. He understands.

After all, it's not like they can go on dates back home.

The bathroom door clicks, opens with a squeak of the hinge, and Thor's steps tap out across the hardwood. Thor rounds the corner and Loki's heart pounds. His head rushes and his chest constricts like he's taken a long drag off a cigarette.

The fact that Thor is beautiful has been ingrained in Loki since the first time he held this sweet boy in his arms. The sun will rise in the East, the North Star is the brightest in the sky, Van Gogh's art is some of the most frequently counterfeited in history behind Picasso (who is far less deserving), and Thor is beautiful.

He's built so much muscle over the years that he'll easily pass for eighteen, maybe twenty.

Loki has wondered at times if his infatuation, his obsession with Thor would diminish as he grew, but no. No.

Thor smiles, tosses his hair out of his face and Loki is on him with mouth and hands. He kisses Thor until he can't breathe and only pulls back to move to Thor's neck.

He loves feeling Thor hard, feeling him need.

“Loki, Loki no.” Thor pushes him.

His blood runs cold and he backs away so fast he almost trips. “What?”

Thor smiles, his face is flushed, Loki's panic ebbs. “I want to go on our date. If you keep kissing me then I'll need to get off and we'll miss our reservation.”

Loki calms and tension runs from his body, he slouches a second before he corrects his posture. “Oh.”

Thor's hands are already bigger than his, he can tell because Thor's thumbs rub in front of his ears as they cradle his jaw.

“And tonight, I was kinda hoping,” Thor pauses and his blush deepens, “maybe I could fuck you? You can take my virginity.”

Heat fills Loki's stomach, he's got a semi that's growing harder with every beat of his heart. “More than I already have?”

Thor laughs and nods. “I want you to fuck me, too, some time.”

The sun sets in the West, the moon controls the tides, Pollock's works are falling apart despite professional preservation efforts, and Thor is beautiful.

—

The restaurant doesn't list prices on their menu. Thor isn't sure how to feel about that, if he should be grateful or guilty about sitting in a restaurant where if you have to ask how much the steak costs you can't afford it.

But Loki can afford it.

Thor found one of Loki's tax forms when he was snooping around last summer after they went home. He didn't realize what a six figure salary actually looked like on paper, what it meant for an unmarried man with no children. Well, maybe not no children.

Sometimes he fantasizes about being Loki's son. About calling Loki something other than uncle. About Loki touching him years before he did, showing him what real pleasure was before he could even spell the word.

He never talks about these fantasies.

Sometimes he wonders if Loki wishes they'd started their relationship earlier. If Loki wants Baldur the same way he wants Thor. It's stupid, Thor knows that. Loki has never looked at Baldur like he looks at Thor, has never kissed or hugged him the same way. But Thor's not young anymore. He's not small, not even smaller than Loki.

“Thor?” Loki's voice breaks his thoughts.

He eats the bite of steak that's been on his fork for almost two minutes. It's cold, but still delicious.

Loki sets his silverware down and laces his fingers together, then rests his chin on them. “What's wrong? Do you not like the restaurant?”

Thor shakes his head and sets his fork down. “No, no, this is good. This is really good.” He pauses, tries to figure out how to ask his questions. “ You never lie to me, right?”

Loki frowns. “Never to you.”

“Do you love Baldur?” Thor looks down at his plate as he speaks.

He stares at the steak juice running red across his porcelain plate, coloring his mashed potatoes and the roasted cauliflower beside them.

Loki reaches out and strokes the back is his hand, touch so light it brings goosebumps to his skin. He looks up and Loki is giving him a warm, gentle smile.

“I love him. I'm in love with you. You're the only person I've loved like this, and I've loved you from the day you were born.” Loki's voice is smooth, low, it nearly blends in with the background noise.

Thor turns his hand over and takes Loki's in his. “Do you miss me being small like him?”

Loki's eyes scan their surroundings then land back on Thor. “No, I rather like the way you've grown. No matter how big or small you've been I've always wanted you. That won't change.”

“You don't know that,” Thor says, a reflex, a fear that grows every year.

“I do,” Loki replies, “it's been fifteen years and I have been in love with you the entire time. I like to imagine I know myself, what I feel. I love you. I will always love you just like this.”

Thor's thumb rubs across Loki's knuckles. “I'm not too old?”

Loki scoffs. “Thor you're fifteen, you're still a child.”

“What about when I'm not? When I'm eighteen or twenty or thirty? What then?” Thor blinks back the tears welling in his eyes. This is so dumb and he can’t figure out how to stop being such a baby about it.

Loki’s brows draw together and he looks at Thor for a moment, silent, considering. “What’s this about, darling? This isn’t like you.”

Thor sniffs hard and takes a quick look around at the other tables. Everyone is as absorbed in themselves as he and Loki have been all night. No one is looking at them. They’re invisible. He feels a flood of relief, to know that he and Loki can just be in a place like this.

He looks at Loki and takes a deep breath to try and steady himself. “I, um, I guess…”

When his sentence dies off Loki stands and moves his chair to sit right at Thor’s side. Loki picks his hand up and threads their fingers together, then kisses the back of Thor’s hand.

With Loki sitting next to him instead of across from him it feels easier to talk. He keeps his voice low and forces himself to be honest. “I wish we started when I was younger.”

Loki squeezes his hand and smiles against his knuckles. The restaurant isn’t silent, not by any means, but this is so dangerous. They shouldn’t talk about this here.

Loki turns and presses his lips to Thor’s ear. “You wish I’d told you we were playing a game and kissed that pretty cock of yours?”

Thor’s breath rushes out of him and heat fills every empty space in his body. He must be very empty.

He nods. “Yeah.”

Loki kisses his temple and Thor catches movement, a waitress slowing a bit as she passes their table. She smiles at them and ducks her head, then keeps walking. Right. No one knows them here. He must look like Loki’s boyfriend. Or his sugar baby.

Thor likes either.

Loki kisses him again. “Do you want to go back to the condo?”

Thor closes his eyes and tilts his head so Loki can nuzzle his jaw. “Let’s finish dinner first.”

A low, dirty chuckle fills the space between them and leaks out. Someone else has to hear it, he knows. But no one can say anything to them. They’re nobody here.

Loki moves back to his side of the table and the longer dinner goes the less Thor worries, the more he looks forward to knowing what it will feel like for Loki’s body to swallow his cock whole.

—

Thor’s fifteen and he’s already better than most of the men who’ve fucked Loki in the past. The first thing Thor did when they returned to the condo was shove him against the door and try to suck his spine out through his cock.

He relaxes in bed, laying on his back as Thor very carefully fingers him. The look of concentration on his face is honestly adorable. God, he’s even chewing his lower lip.

Thor’s fingers brush against his prostate and he moans at the waves of euphoria that roll through him. If Thor hadn’t already taken care of him he’d be able to cum again on Thor’s fingers, he knows he would. He’s floating inside his skin, filled with a warmth that goes beyond simple pleasure. Never in his life has he loved anyone he’s had sex with aside from Thor. No one has loved him either, and he almost feels stupid that he didn’t realize the difference it would make. He’s closer to forty than thirty so he should know better, right? This should be a lesson he learned long ago; one that should have been taught to him by another man and not a boy with hair like sunshine and a shared last name.

Loki hasn’t had to do a damn thing except strip this entire time and Thor even helped him with that. He sighs as Thor’s fingers slip free and picks his head up enough to watch Thor spread lube on that beautiful cock. Then Thor pushes his leg up and that look of concentration doesn’t leave his face as he takes himself in hand and makes the first push into Loki’s body.

He’s so loose, so well-prepped, but Thor is so thick. Loki’s eyes roll into his head and he groans at that familiar stretch. It’s been years since someone has fucked him and he forgot how much he loved this full feeling, of being able to tell how far a man was inside him by the way it burns.

Thor pants and pauses halfway in. His cock is jumping and throbbing, his fingers are digging into Loki’s thigh like claws. Loki forces his eyes open to look at his nephew, this boy on the brink of adulthood. Sweat is rolling down Thor’s face and neck, collecting in the dip of his collarbone and continuing down his chest and stomach. He squeezes his eyes tight and takes a deep, slow breath in through his nose, then releases it through his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Loki reaches out and strokes Thor’s arm with two fingers.

Thor gives a jerky nod in response and licks his lips. He opens his eyes and looks up at Loki, his pupils blown so wide the blue is almost all gone. “I feel like I’m gonna cum.”

Loki smiles and pulls both of his legs back, holding them under the knees. “That’s alright, it’s your first time. Just promise me one thing?”

Thor’s shoulders drop a bit and his hand eases up where it’s still holding him. “Yeah?”

“Don’t hold back.” Loki smiles as he speaks and he watches the way Thor’s breathing changes.

The next second the rest of his cock is shoved deep in Loki’s body, their skin slapping as Thor’s hips meet his ass. Loki’s head falls back on his pillow and he groans from deep in his chest.

“You are a big boy, aren’t you?” Loki feels like Thor is pulling the breath from his lungs when he rolls his hips and pulls that heavy cock out.

“I’m only gonna get bigger,” Thor promises, then slams back into him.

Loki doesn’t have room left for words. All he can do is lay there and feel his soft cock bouncing around as Thor does exactly what Loki asked, like he always does.

Thor moans and cusses and his thrusts turn erratic almost as soon as any rhythm can be formed. His voice goes higher and higher, betraying his youth.

Their eyes meet and Loki sees a younger Thor still alive and well. His mouth drops open and his eyebrows arch and oh, he looks so helpless, like he needs someone to teach him and guide him. Loki lets go of one of his legs to cradle Thor’s jaw in his hand and hums happily when Thor grinds against his ass and he feels the heavy pulse of Thor emptying into him.

Thor falls forward and rests his head on Loki’s chest. “I didn’t know it would feel so good.”

Loki slowly wraps his legs around Thor’s midsection and keeps him close, greedy as he’s always been for his nephew. He tucks a lock of hair behind Thor’s ear and locks his ankles behind Thor’s back. All he wants is for every night to end this way, Thor above and inside him, leaving him full and leaking. Such a young, foolish thing to want, but Thor nuzzles his chest and kisses his sweaty skin so maybe it’s fitting to have this desire when there’s such a beautiful young fool on top of him.

He weaves his fingers into Thor’s hair and feels overcome. Sadness and pain war inside him. They can’t keep this up. This can’t just be a few stolen weeks out of every summer for them. Something has to change.

—

Thor doesn’t like leaving his phone in his room, but he wants to make sure this conversation isn’t interrupted. He’s graduating from high school in a month and his parents have been bugging him for practically the entire year to tell them where he’s planning to go to college. Momma might’ve applied to some for him at this point.

But they don’t need to worry.

He empties his glass of lemonade and takes a deep breath as he sets it down. “Hey, I, uh, I got accepted into Uppsala University.”

Everyone at the table stops moving. They stare at him, wide-eyed, his father midway through chewing a piece of pork chop.

Baldur looks between their parents, then at Thor. “Where’s that?”

“Sweden,” Momma answers. “It’s in Sweden.”

She sounds… relieved. That makes Thor’s stomach twist. He knows why she’s relieved. If he’s an ocean away from them he’s also an ocean away from Loki.

Dad swallows his food and sets his silverware down. “You speak Swedish?”

Thor grins, a hot blush rising to his cheeks. “En liten bit. Jag ska studera förut—”

Dad waves him off with a laugh. “Alright, alright. You probably speak more Swedish than I do Norwegian, anyway. What are you studying?”

“I’m stuck between geophysics and applied nuclear physics.” He can’t look at his mother, so he stares at his dad, looks him right in the eye. His heart still pounds in his chest and feels tight when he does. Maybe leaving will make that stop.

Baldur chews his lower lip as he looks at Thor. “I’m not gonna get to see you a lot, then, right?”

Thor swallows to try and keep tears from coming to his eyes, but it doesn’t work. He shakes his head. “No. But, we can skype, and I’ll still be on Instagram and Snapchat.”

Baldur nods, then his eyes light up and Thor’s pain eases. “Will you mail me letters? Oh! You can write parts of them in Swedish so I can learn it, too!”

Thor laughs. “Ok, jag kan göra det.”

Baldur squints at him. “What?”

“I can do that,” he translates.

Momma puts her hand on his and he makes himself look at her. She’s crying, but she looks so happy. “When do you leave?”

“August,” he says, “I have a job lined up for when I get out there, so I’m going to work for a few weeks and start in the fall.”

She squeezes his hand and tears flow freely from her eyes. “Well, we’ll miss you, but I think this is for the best. Are you taking out loans?”

He shakes his head. “No I have, um… scholarships, some grants.”

Her smile drops a bit. “Is Loki paying for any of it?”

Thor nods. “Some, but really he’s just filling in the gap.”

Dad hums and crosses his arms. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Thor’s heart skips but he forces his best sheepish smile. “I was worried if I told you and then it didn’t work that you’d be disappointed in me. This is a really big opportunity, you know?”

His parents look at each other, then they both smile.

“I’m proud of you, son,” dad says, his eye a bit wet and his smile wide and true.

Thor still hates him. He didn’t realize how much until this moment, with freedom staring him down just weeks out. Maybe a better person would forgive his father. After all, he’s never hit Baldur, he hasn’t hit Thor in twelve years, and he’s made their life very comfortable.

But he’s cheating on Momma and has been for years. Thor wonders if there’s ever been a time that his dad wasn’t fucking other women. He has a half-sister waiting for him in Uppsala and he can’t shake the feeling that there are probably other siblings out there with his eyes and chin and a little piece of Odin’s temper. As a kid he thought it was just Loki’s lack of children that made his money go further, but it’s easy to be rich when you’re not paying child support and hush money to keep your business partners from buying you out or blackmailing you.

Thor can’t forgive Odin. He can’t. He won’t.

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever come back here as long as his dad’s alive.

—

Loki stares at the wall where his desk used to sit. It’s strange, leaving. This has been his life for two decades. Since before Thor was born.

That’s how he’s come to mark his life. Before Thor and After Thor. Nothing from before matters nearly as much as everything after. Thor’s birth was a revelation and sparked a shift within him. Thor gives him purpose.

The smell of fresh paint permeates the air and he barely resists running his fingers over the shining surface of the wall. Part of him wants to leave a mark. Part of him wants to forget this entire country.

Finding Hela was pure luck, but he’s never been more grateful to have a niece. She’s a terrifying woman and if she were a bit older she could easily be mistaken for his younger sister. Bor’s genes run strong and deep.

Loki walks out of his empty office and sets his keys on the equally empty front desk. He stares at the frosted glass in the main door that used to read Borson Authentication, now scraped bare, and feels… nothing. Maybe he should. Maybe if he were normal he’d have a harder time leaving two decades of his life behind to move an ocean away. He never thought of himself as a teacher, but the university’s offer was too good to turn down.

He leaves the office and smiles to the leasing agent in the hall, she’s on her phone and she winks at him as he passes. It’s a great property. The new tenants are going to love the view of the city.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out, sees a preview of a text. Thor just landed.

Loki smiles and feels relief bloom sweet in his chest, calming the lingering anxiety that something would happen during the flight. The fear was always irrational, but Thor is his life. It’s reasonable to worry for one’s life.

The sun beats down on him as soon as he steps outside, making him squint as he reads Thor’s incoming texts. Thor’s always a very exuberant young man, but apparently he’s already in love with Sweden.

A selfie with Hela comes in, both of them smiling with the baggage carousel behind them, and Loki smiles with them.

He leans against his car and takes a moment longer to stare at Thor’s face. It took years of planning. Years of  late night talks until the sun came up. Hoping and hiding, taking scraps of affection from each other to maintain a lie to make everyone else comfortable. No more.

“So did you pick Sweden, or did Thor?” Frigga’s voice is steady. Loki’s heart isn’t.

The atrocities a mother will commit to protect her children are not lost on him.

He looks up and sees her eyes are bloodshot and her nose is raw. How long has she been weeping for Thor? And which Thor is she crying over? Is it the eighteen year old making a reckless choice, or perhaps the six year old that starved himself until she broke down and called Loki back?

Loki doesn’t move. Her purse is more than large enough to conceal a weapon. “I found someone in Sweden, family, and Thor made the choice.”

“Family?” She takes a step toward him and snatches his phone from his hand. “Unlock it.”

He does as she asks and watches her study the photo. Her brows draw together and Loki wonders if she expected something else to be on the screen.

“Are you going to fuck her, too?” She throws his phone at him and he barely catches it in time to keep it from falling onto the concrete.

He locks his phone and slips it back into his pocket. “No, I won’t be fucking my niece.”

Frigga freezes, then her eyes go wide. “You lying sack of shit.”

Loki looks around at the sidewalk, at the people passing by. No one notices them. They probably won’t until it’s too late.

“Most times,” he agrees, “but not this time. Her name is Hela, and she’s a bit too old to be my daughter, especially considering your sex aren’t my preference. She was born in Stavanger, Norway in nineteen ninety-five about ten months after Odin renegotiated a few business contracts. Dad was in hospice at the time, and I was still in high school. Her mother has received regular child support payments and still receives money to this day.”

Fresh tears roll down Frigga’s cheeks. “This is what you do, then? You molest my son for years, steal him away to another country, and tear my life apart before leaving? Is this who you are?”

It is, but he doesn’t answer. She deserves better. God, she’s always deserved better. Maybe now she can take Baldur and have it.

Frigga sniffs hard and smiles at him, her eyes sharp. “I want to kill you. I almost brought my revolver with me but you know if I did that I’d never get to speak to my…” Her voice breaks on a sob and Loki clenches his jaw. They were friends once. “I would never get to speak to my son again because I’d be killing the person he…”

“The person he loves,” Loki finishes. “You’d be killing the man he’s in love with and he won’t forgive you.”

She tips her head back and closes her eyes. Sunlight glistens in the tracks of her tears and creates soft golden highlights in her hair and Loki can see the brush strokes that would make her into a renaissance masterpiece. A grieving mother filled with rage and pain. It’s perfect.

Frigga takes a handful of shuddering breaths and looks at him. “You stay gone, Loki. Do you understand? Do not ever come back here.”

Loki nods. “I won’t.”

He slides into his car and keeps a calm facade as he drives off.

Halfway to the airport tears begin to blur his vision so he pulls over at a gas station. He leaves the car on and the doors locked as he sits idling in park. His hands shake and he sobs, then laughs. From the outside he must look crazed, dangerous.

In two short hours he’ll be boarding a plane that will take him to a country where the only incest that’s illegal is between siblings.

All of his belongings have already been shipped over and by now Thor and Hela should be on their way to his new apartment.

He remembers the first summer trip he and Thor took. The peace, the joy he felt at not having to hide, at having everything he wanted.

The rest of his life will be that summer repeated year after year, kiss after kiss.

They’re free.

—

Thor stares at the wall calender and can’t make himself move. Three years passed so quickly. He’s coming up on his final year at Uppsala.

Harvard reached out to see if he’d be interested in doing grad school state side.

So did Stanford. And Penn State.

Baldur hasn’t answered his calls in a month. Momma left dad two and a half years ago, so it’s been tense, he knows, and he hasn’t been able to come home for any of it. He thinks maybe Baldur knows why he and Loki left.

Momma wished him a happy birthday last week and even called him. They talked for twenty minutes, but every time he mentioned Loki she changed the subject. It’s a start.

He isn’t going home. He can’t. Loki loves his job and the city. Thor loves it, too. More than that, he doesn’t know how to function without Loki within arm’s reach. The last time he and Loki spent any considerable time apart he was six and it was only three days.

They aren’t healthy. Nothing about their relationship has ever been healthy but this is all he knows, all he’s ever understood as love.

No part of him feels whole unless Loki is there.

Loki’s lips press to the back of his neck and he smiles, closing his eyes and breaking away from zoning out at the calendar.

“How was class?” He turns and pulls Loki against him.

Loki kisses him once, then twice. “It was good. Some decent discussion, finally.”

Loki turns away and goes to the fridge, pulling out some cheese and fresh fruit juice. Thor watches him, watches the way his body moves just like he always has. Gray hairs have begun popping up more frequently over the last few years, Loki’s black curls interspersed with errant silver strands. He never says anything, but Thor sees him looking at them in the mirror.

The thought of Loki turning gray makes Thor a little hard. They’ve been together for years and it’s showing on both of them.

He’s young enough to be Loki’s son, and people often make the mistake before Thor corrects them. Loki is his partner. His life.

Thor leans against their dining table and pulls dead skin off of his lower lip with his teeth. He could go back to the states. There’s nothing stopping him, not really. If he were sane he’d leave tomorrow. But that’s not who he is. Nothing has changed since he was a child and a counselor was asking him if he was being molested. He didn’t make the right choice then, and he’s not going to now.

They’re taking a weekend trip to the family farm next month. Thor hasn’t been to Norway yet, hasn’t seen where their shared blood began. Loki promised to show him everything when he was a kid. He wants to see the trees and the forst, the place Loki said they could get married; even if it’s not possible. They’ll kiss and fuck in the old farmhouse and Thor will imagine they’re living centuries ago, maybe even a thousand years, back when gods with their names were worshipped in grain and alcohol and blood. This is why they’re so perfect for each other. So much has lead to them being together, to their love finding the right time and place to exist. This is how they are, how they’ve always been, and how they’re meant to be. Loki feels the same way, he knows.

Thor knows Loki like he knows himself.

He walks up to Loki’s side and guides his uncle’s hand away from the knife on the cutting board and down to his groin, where his cock is just starting to push against the zipper of his jeans. Loki grins and hums in that dirty, pleased way Thor loves.

“Have you been waiting for me since you got home?” Loki’s fingers squeeze him and tug on him through the denim.

He nods and leans in to nuzzle at Loki’s barely receding hairline. “I like your grays.”

Loki gasps and leans into him. “Then I’ll change my hair appointment Saturday if you’re so fond of them.”

Thor smiles. “Do you just do whatever I want?”

Loki pulls back and looks him in the eye, the green soft and warm. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> so that's my 21k catharsis fic lmao. comment and let me know what you think!
> 
> before anyone asks, yes, my therapist knows about this story.


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